Into Me See

Some people wear their heart on their sleeve. I prefer to keep mine inside my rib cage.

For whatever reasons, I have never been one to pour out my soul to a willing listener. Sometimes I share my troubles and difficulties, my wonderings and deepest thoughts – but many times I prefer to quietly and anonymously ponder.

Why is it so hard to be open? Why do I struggle to express my heart’s beat? I guess I fear that delicate word – vulnerability. It seems to go hand in hand with trust, which is another word that can be tripped over.

Yet I am coming to know the beauty and strength that can be found in utilizing such words. They allow my burdens to be carried by another. They allow my confusion to be clearly seen in another’s light. They allow me to connect genuinely, honestly, humanly with another.

Is it easy? No. It may never be easy, and I may never naturally be open and real and, well, vulnerable.

But I am all too aware of the gift it is when another person opens up their heart to me. They speak and share and trust, and I must hold their heart with gentleness and strength.

By God’s grace, I will never treat lightly the baring of another’s heart. By God’s grace, every time another shares with me, I will honour them with trust.

I appreciate their gift of openness, and I am learning to share my own heart. I am learning to be open and real. I am learning to be vulnerable, trusting that the other will hold my heart gently in return.

It is a strange and unique and beautiful thing. When I share my words and heart with another, and when I receive another’s words and heart, we are both allowing and being allowed a sacred glimpse into another’s soul.

Because this is the very meaning of intimacy: into me see.

© Emma McGeorge 2013

The idea of “intimacy = into me see” came from Dietrich Soakai of South Auckland Poets Collective. A sample of his work can be found here  

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Moments

Today, I had a moment. Actually, there were several moments that cascaded into my lap – but this moment was notable because it was not a particularly happy one.

Not long after this, I had another moment. But this moment filled me with peace and delight. It was a moment of beauty and happiness, and the sweet knowledge that another person cared.

Life is made of moments, it seems. Long, delicious moments of wonder and awe, like a sunset taking its time to paint the sky. Brief moments of a shared laugh or a loving smile or a glance that speaks a thousand words.

So many moments are scattered throughout my life, adding colour and texture and “aliveness”.

We hold those better moments in high regard, await them with eager anticipation, do all we can to make them last… Moments are indeed a part of life – yet what defines a true moment?

Because, no matter how glamorous and exciting some moments can be, I have come to realize that my happiest moments are not necessarily the ones bathed in success or accumulation or gratification, sprinkled with glitter and gold.

The truth is this: my favourite moments, whether they be huge occasions or the smallest spark in the dark, are the moments that are shared with people.

People who have impacted my life in ways they will never know. People who are a part of my present journey (those brave and valiant souls!). People who have, I am humbled to find, been somehow blessed by me.

These are the people who have coloured my canvas. They have touched my heart in a million unforgettable ways. They have filled my life with moments.

Some have been difficult moments, but I have come out stronger and wiser for their honesty and concern. Some have been defining moments, and I am all the richer for the time and effort another person has put into me. And some moments have been of no special significance, except for the beauty they have held simply in connecting with another person.

So many people, so many moments – why should I hold back from making a moment for you in return?

© Emma McGeorge 2013