The Art of Procrastination

It seems to me that there are two types of people in this world.

Those who procrastinate, and those who don’t.

(Actually, there is a third type who believe that the earth is an ethereal disc upon which we float as jelly-like spirit beings – but I haven’t got time to cover their viewpoint today. Except to wonder if this therefore makes eating jelly babies some form of metaphorical cannibalism?…)

I myself am a true procrastinator.

I can effortlessly turn a blind eye to the mountain of urgent work that is landsliding across my desk, and instead see to the box of stationery supplies that must be put away now. Or face a sink full of dirty dishes, and vigorously apply myself to the task of weeding. Or face a tangle of crotchety weeds, and diligently whip around the house with a duster like there’s no tomorrow.

At least I’m prepared.

Now I’m not trying to be delusional here, nor am I trying to put forth one type as superior or more beneficial than the other. I am aware that such blaze’ sentiments must be somewhat concerning for all the non-procrastinators out there (and maybe for the jelly-spirit-beings too). But today, right in the middle of a good procrastinate, I had the illuminating thought:

Who’s to say that procrastination is not profitable?

If I didn’t procrastinate about those dishes, the garden would be looking like something out of Jumanji.

And if I didn’t balk at the sheer volume of work, how else would that smudge mark ever be removed from the underside of my pen holder?

You see, if it weren’t for procrastination, I would accomplish so much less. I would apply myself far less determinedly to cleaning the sideboards of the bedroom wall behind my bed, or rearranging the pantry cupboard in alphabetical order, or painstakingly picking the lint fluff off my cardigan.

Procrastination produces pleasing payoffs. (And also alliteration.)

For me, procrastination is indeed an art.

And I shall therefore attempt to perform it as such.

With creativity.
With delight in the working power and tenacity of humanity.
With effort and diligence and downright ingenuity.

You see, when it comes down to it, the procrastinator believes that oft-quoted mantra just as much as the non-procrastinator who states it –

A job worth doing is worth doing well.

© Emma McGeorge, March 2014

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3 thoughts on “The Art of Procrastination

  1. Mamma says:

    Hilarious, Em! This makes procrastination so much more fun! 🙂 I shall never be worried about it again…

  2. Ian McDougall says:

    Er, um I think I will leave a reply but am unsure if I need to so guess I will possibly think about it,,, umm tomorrow.

  3. Esther S. says:

    Thanks for justifying what I have always thought was one of my bad habits, so eloquently! My conscience is whispering the word “priorities” in my ear but the rest of my brain is chuckling, yelling “Good on you Emma, I couldn’t have said it better myself.” like a group of enthusiastic Duffflepuds, while attempting to shove the conscience out the door and kick it firmly shut.

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